looking straight out my bedroom window, the view of district 1 from my apartment
to the right, the view of district 3, phu nhuan and beyond
At the beginning of the year, I was about ready to leave this place, but that was really short-lived. In April I upgraded everything big in my life. I got a better bike, signed a year lease for a better apartment, and a year contract at a better school.
So I ain’t goin’ nowhere.
In fact, I love living here so much that I’ve had nightmares of returning home unexpectedly and each time was overwhelmed with the feeling of disappointment. When I wanted a break from this place, it wasn’t just the actual place, I just wasn’t happy. The more I thought about it, I figured I could be unhappy anywhere else in the world. If I didn’t solve what was going on with me, moving was only going to serve as a distraction.
Now things are great. Sadly, a lot of people have left, but there are more people coming in. However, I find myself reluctant to open up to many of them, especially if I know they’re only here for less than six months. It’s hard not to take it personal. This is my home and when I see people come here for a few months or a few days I just don’t want to bother anymore. I’m tired of erasing my friends from my phonebook. I know not many people have time to live here or visit for a long time, but I have the right not to open myself up to them. At the same time, I wish my family and friends would take advantage of the fact that I’m here so I could show them around. I know that I will eventually leave one day, even if it's in a few years and fortunately, Vietnam is a permanent part of my life. I will always come back.
I’m turning 30 in 3 days and I can’t tell you how depressing that is. In the past month, I’ve started tennis lessons, bought some new clothes, got a Wii and started thinking of new plans. I’m freaking out. I feel so helpless trying to hang on to my youth. Every year I’ve always wanted to celebrate my birthday with a bang, and now, I don’t wanna do anything. What’s to celebrate?! Ugh. As my friend Kyla says, this is the start of many 29th birthdays. :)
Hopefully, this time I won’t break a leg.
Breakfast - 7:20am. I usually have oatmeal, banana, and a coffee, but the night before I got a ham and cheese roll from Bready's. I've been at the new apartment for nearly 3 months and I STILL can't get over how amazing our view is. 15th floor of 18. Actually, it's the 14th since we don't have an unlucky 13th floor.
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Talk soon.
I like how individuality was acceptable in Bangkok. I've asked my students here questions like why they do certain things and the common answer is that everyone else does it so they don't want to be the one who's different and I totally understand that. When you're different here, people make fun and point it out. It's annoying. To not be bothered and not noticeable is incredibly relieving.
As of right now, one day after coming back, I have to admit that I feel as if I've hit my halfway mark in living in Vietnam. I just hit my 2nd year a few weeks ago. Had I answered this question 2 weeks ago, I would have been like, no way, I can't see myself living anywhere else. It's not until I get a chance to get away and have new experiences that make me realize there's so much out there. I like Saigon a lot. I like my life here a lot, but I think I'm ready for a change of scenery. I don't see myself going to the States soon, but if it happens, I'm open to it. If the opportunity comes to live in another country in Southeast Asia, I'll be all over it. I'm refreshed, I have a newfound appreciation of the friends I have here, and I'm truly happy again. I'm definitely excited about 2008 and am looking forward to the challenges and new experiences it has in store for me because to be honest with you, 2007 really sucked. So, because of all this, I will definitely try my best to document my life while I'm still here. So this blogging thing? No matter how trivial, I'll be making more updates. I promise.
2. I've gotta new roomate - Kyla. We have fun.
3. These were our last minute Halloween costumes... can you guess what they were?
4. I can walk again.
5. As soon as I got my cast off, I hobbled to the corner to a little guitar shop (owned by an old, kinda mean guy, who played beautifully.... even tho he had 2 fingers chopped off) to start my new hobby - the guitar. I think I practice about an hour a day just about. I can play Lyin' Eyes, A Horse with No Name, Bread's "If", Radiohead's "Motion Picture Soundtrack" and a couple of riffs. I can't play perfectly, but I'm progressing.
I moved back to the apartment nearly 3 weeks ago and started driving my motorbike. I can't tell you how nice it is to feel so independent again! However, I have so much bottled energy from having been in a cast for 2 months and learning how to walk again for another month, that I can't seem to relax sometimes. It's as if I'm trying to make up those lost months. My productivity level is super high and I've got too many goals on my list now and I think a lot of it has to do with my getting close to my 2 year mark. I still haven't done even half the things I wanted to do here, but I'm working at it.
Bonus! I'm going to Phu Quoc for Christmas with my fam for a few days then I'm spending a week in Bangkok to celebrate New Years Eve! Sooooo excited about that. Last year was my sober NYE in Kuala Lumpor and the year before that was boring in Saigon, but THIS ONE is gonna be party party party.
I really, really, really, really can't wait. :)
So I got to the main street of Vo Thi Sau, a four lane, one way street, with the 2 lanes before me - car lanes and the others - motorbike lanes. It was busy. I squinted and waved at a motorbike guy across the way but the intervals of space between cars passing me, were too short for me to grab his attention. Then to my right, I heard a man’s voice near me saying something to the effect of – do you need a ride, in Vietnamese. Then I heard a loud CRASH. I turned to look and not three feet from me, a man on a motorbike got hit in the back by a van. The man turned to his body in such a sudden unnatural way and grabbed his chest. His were eyes wide and in shock and… he looked right at me before he collapsed to the ground. People ran to get him and I stood there with my helmet in hand, staring at the commotion, completely shocked. My feet were like lead. When I finally snapped out of it, I went and grabbed his hat and sunglasses which fell about 4 feet from his bike. I set them next to his squirming body as they placed him on the sidewalk. Not one word came from his mouth, not a loud gasp or a scream, even. It was as if he had the wind knocked right out of him. I think I stood there for about 8 minutes or so. He seemed to get a little better and I just didn’t know what to do. No one even seemed to see me, well, except for the motorbike guy who I couldn’t figure out if I was imagining his eyes on me or if he really was looking at me. Everyone was so involved in helping him, and there was so much going on with people coming over to see what was going on and such, that I felt as if I weren’t even there. As if somehow, I had become invisible, and the only people who knew what happened was him and me and strangely, it seemed as if we had communicated, by just our eyes, while everyone was running around him. So after trying to communicate that I was sorry I was ever there, I walked away. I hitched a ride with another motorbike taxi guy and went to work.
I have no idea what happened to him. Sometimes I think if I had done things differently like left on time or called my regular driver to come or if I yelled across the way to another motorbike guy, this one guy wouldn’t have gotten hit. But, I’ve played this game too many times before, so I have to tick this off as just an accident and leave it at that. Of course I feel bad, I wish it didn’t happen, but I can’t help that it did. I know how expensive medical help is here. I pay more on my medication for my leg that I’m still taking every month than a lot of people make in this country.
When they opened up his shirt to where he was clutching, you could see a big red spot. People were rubbing tiger balm on it. When they tried to lay his right leg straight to make him more comfortable, he shot up and grabbed his ankle. I hope he didn’t break anything and I hope he walked away from the whole thing. I just hope that he’s alright, really, and... if you ever see me on the street, please just keep going.
First, how much water do they think paper can absorb? Secondly, how is choosing to prevent that presumably small amount of water from landing on their heads, any better than having the kid keep her hands on her mom or bike in case they come to a sudden stop or get bumped?
So glad we did.
(It's messed up on purpose. I'll take up any volunteers to connect them correctly for me :))
Jan and I decided to try Pacific Airlines, a discount airline, famous for selling tickets for as low as a dollar. Well, if you can help it, I'd pass, unless you can get a REALLY great deal and you're not constrained for time, also.. if you're not hungry or too thirsty or don't mind traveling with people who've never flown before.. meaning, Vietnamese people who will go up to the front of the line, stand while the plane's taxi-ing, or start chatting on their cell phones when they're in the air. Or better yet, get airsick.
So anyway, the flight from SGN was about 2 1/2 hours, the taxi ride to the city was about half an hour and around 8 bucks. Pacific Airlines had a bus, but we had no idea how long it would take and since the flight was an hour late, we barely had time to get to the tour office, we took a taxi. The room we were booked on for the train was really nice. It had 4 beds, wood paneling, the a/c was great, it was very clean and we had a nice little table to eat, drink, and play games on. I think we departed at 9pm and arrived at 5am. Once we arrived, we were put in a van and driven uphill for about 45 minutes to Sapa where we had breakfast and hung around for a bit. What every guide book warns you about is true when it comes to Sapa. It's a HUGE tourist trap. Groups of females dressed in traditional clothing constantly urge you to buy things. Each group was created by age so you had the tiny girls who were like 5 and then the older ones who were about 10, then the teens and the really old ladys. It was neat at first but once you start, all these groups kept coming in and before we knew it, we had created a huge traffic jam in the middle of the street. So a couple of us just decided to escape to our tour company's shop. The unfortunate thing was we didn't know we weren't coming back to Sapa, but really, all there was in the town were a bunch of high priced gift shops and restaurants.
I already thought the bike trip from Dalat to Nha Trang was amazing, that was nothing compared to Sapa. We really felt as if we were away from everything. It was so peaceful and just absolutely beautiful. Also, the rides themselves were physically harder, with huge climbs, but the stunning views and the speed of going down 'em made up for it... most of the time.
Here are some of the picts. I'll post more soon.
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If any of you are in Saigon (whether we've met or not) and want to help party my misery away, come celebrate with me on Saturday. :)
Wear a hat and bring your friends and make them wear hats too.
For now, here's a pict from my bike trip in Sapa a coupla weeks ago. It was amazing. Truly, truly amazing.
Why don't most foreigners wear helmets in this country? They don't think it's cool, they don't wanna be laughed at, and usually, they just want to blend in. Hello? You are in Asia and you are usually white and if you're not white, you still stand out. Seriously, if I were walking around surrounded by local Vietnamese, wearing tight jeans, stilettos and a t shirt bearing catch phrases in English that don't make sense, I'd still stand out. The other day I saw a foreign guy with his Vietnamese wife on a motorbike with no helmets and their kid on a baby seat (imagine a miniature high chair jammed in the front of the bike in front of the seat) with also no helmet. Do you remember back in the 80s when they used to air those commercials with crash test dummies in Volvos proving to us that we are not strong enough to hold a baby in the passenger seat during a crash? Imagine what would happen in a crash on a motorbike with that kid in front. Bye bye baby, that's what. Or better yet, the parents who wear helmets but don't get one for the kid. What does that say?
People wouldn’t think of riding a bike without a helmet back home, especially around cars. So why do some foreigners here refuse to put on helmets on a motorized vehicle? Why?
The second thing is practicality. This is my second rainy season here and I’ve just about perfected my prevention against it. I’ve got my complete rain suit, the jacket that has 2 zippers and buttons in front to prevent water from seeping through. I’ve got the pants and also got the goofy bootys, or better known as the shoe covers to prevent all that disgusting crap on the road that gathers in little puddles. Whenever I get my legs and feet wet from that water, I itch like crazy and sometimes break out in hives. I mean, that is FILTHY. Anyway, back to rainy season, this year, I’ve added a new helmet with a guard to prevent my face from getting hit by those painful pellets of rain that soaks and chills my face and makes it near impossible to see in a downpour. To be truthful, I look like a space cadet with helmet and all and you can be sure I get laughed and all the time.
The other day at the gas station, all EIGHT gas attendants were standing there pointing and laughing about my get up. No one likes to be treated that way, and I just rolled my eyes at the people barefoot with their pants rolled up to their knees. Should I care? No. So when do I get my satisfaction? When do I feel like I’m the one prepared? It’s during the downpours. Today getting off work in the afternoon, it rained… a little. I know better than to underestimate the rain, having been lazy without taking the time to button up or zip up or put my ridiculous booties on, but I did it all anyway. Not five minutes later down the road did it start pouring on us. Everyone scrunched their shoulders in and bowed their heads against the pellets so they could see, and I just maneuvered around them casually, listening to my Ipod completely dry and… loving it. If I weren’t wearing that whole get up, you’d think I was out driving on a clear Sunday afternoon with chirping birds and rainbows, I was that comfortable. And it's moments like those when I wanna drive circles around people and laugh at their faces while they're shrinking from the rain. Think Ben Stiller with his crazy eyes, that's how I feel... or not... When I arrived home, I had not one drop of water on me. So who’s laughing now, huh? My friends think I’m crazy and they laugh at my outfit too, but who looks sillier? Me or the ones who are using raincoats made of plastic thinner than trash bags? Who’s wet and who’s not?
The other day during another rain, I passed by these two Vietnamese business guys. One had on a poncho driving a manual bike, meaning he couldn’t hide his legs behind the front like you can on an automatic bike. He had legs up crouching like a fetus, pants rolled up to his knees and leather loafers getting absolutely soaked. At the same time his face was drenched and his head was wet b/c his poncho head cover kept blowing back from the wind. Who looks silly now?
Another thing is the masks. I have a pretty hardcore looking mask, but if I had my choice, I’d wear an oxygen mask with tank. Ever since I got out of this city, it gets harder for me to tolerate all of the exhaust. I know you’ve seen pictures, but do you know what it’s like? If you wanna test it out with a friend, have your friend start the car while you place your face in front of the opening of the muffler. Tell your friend to rev the engine then you just breathe all that in. That’s what it’s like. Sometimes when you driving around these streets and get caught behind a green Saigon city bus, you get a huge cloud of black smoke puffed right at you. Sometimes riding around, you’ll feel puffs of air hit your face and you know what? That’s friggin’ exhaust. I’m not about to buy a car or take taxis all the time, so I do what I can, which is to pay 70,000 VND or 5 dollars, which is about 20 times more than a basic mask that covers your mouth and nose, for a mask with a changeable filter. It does take time to get used to it suffocating you, but at the same time, you’re blocking all of that crap from getting into your mouth, nose, and lungs.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame the Vietnamese for being so impractical; it’s sort of like one of their traits, at least compared to someone living in places that are so practical. If they’re hard up on change, then so be it. However, the foreigners really have no excuse. We are from modern worlds, why should it be so embarrassing to use what we know and bring our standards here? Why must some of us revert back as if we never learned a thing? I just don’t get it.
Quotes from Paul:
First it was 5 days and 60 dollars, now it's gonna 10 days and cost 95 dollars?
Ew! He was tweezing his nosehairs! (referring to a guy sitting on his motorbike)
Thanks for telling me everyone picks their noses, now I see it everywhere.
You don't know what a Mimosa is??
I'm gonna need a tetanus shot. (while driving thru huge pools of brown puddles from the rain)
If I shit anymore I'm gonna die.
2. Some friends and I went out to Nha Trang for the long weekend. A little over a month ago, the government decided to give us a new holiday to commemerate a king, who is called the father of Vietnam. Not many of my students were able to tell me more than that, and honestly, all I cared about was that we had an extra day off, a Thursday. We also had Tuesday, or yesterday off for Labor day, so I took 7 glorious days off and spent 6 of them at the beach. Getting my SCUBA certificate in Nha Trang was one of my scheduled trips this year, so it was very satisfying to get. The class was pretty intense with 2 full days of classes, (1/2 day in class watching videos, reading the text book and taking quizzes and 1/2 day in the pool developing skills). After a 50 question final exam, we finally got to take 4 dives in the ocean, which was absolutely incredible. Sitting on the sea floor praticing skills with 3 friends surrounded by gorgeous coral reefs and playing with little fish, made for the most incredible classrooms I've ever been in. So even tho I had to get up at 6 or 7 in the morning each friggin' day, it was all worth it because I now am a certified diver! yay!
Many Saigonites came out to Nha Trang and we wounded up meeting up, drinking and dancin' which was fun. Some of my friends and I were joking before the trip that this was gonna be Spring Break 2007. Altho it was fun, it definitely was no Fort Lauderdale or Daytona, which I'm glad it wasn't. I did get to fit in a much deserved relaxing afternoon at the beach, tho.
3. My 2nd class of 3 is going to end this weekend and I am so excited. After this, I'll have one more class so if I plan to do anything outside of teaching, I've got to do it soon, or else I'll just be a bum again, but that's no so bad either.
4. Plans to go to Sapa for biking and hiking are still up in the air as it'll be the rainy season. I really want to go, but if there's a large possibility of my getting drenched while trekking, I may just postpone it 'til the end of the year.
5. Plans to Shanghai are cancelled as my cousin won't be there, so that means I may just take a big diving trip sometime in the next few months. The first destination is Malaysia, on the east side this time.
So anyway, this was my roundabout way of explaining why I haven't written lately. I just don't know what this is anymore. Is it all about pictures, about my ignorance, of my living in this country, about me, or what? No matter what I say, someone's gonna one up me on something. If I say I've lived here for a year and a half, someone who's been here for 5 can say I know nothing. If I say, I have a lot of expat friends, people can say, oh, you don't know anything about this country b/c you don't have Vietnamese friends. I can say, Yes, I'm Vietnamese born in America and a Vietnamese guy actually said to me - You're not Vietnamese. If you can't speak Vietnamese, you aren't Vietnamese.
And it's not just writing about Vietnam or my experiences here, it's being here in general. Somehow, in order to save from saying EVERYONE IN SAIGON, I can't help but meet people who have to take some sort of jab at others.
A: Why don't I ever see you put your hair up?
L: Who the hell cares?
B: You look strange today.
L: What is it about me that looks strange?
B: I don't know, but there's something.
L: Uh, thanks?!
C: Your hair looks weird today.
L: Your face looks like ass.
Comments like these are just... tiring.
It's not just Vietnamese people I meet, but it's the foreigners as well. Why I meet so many critical, condescending people here is beyond me. Why is it neccessary?
To be fair, I've met a lot of nice people, but I have to say, the percentage of judgemental people here is much higher than I'm used to.
So I guess to sum up, I just wanted a break from the criticism for a bit and the only place I could control that is on here, by not saying anything. I'm okay now. So bring it on.
You are a thoughtful and cautious person. You like to think about your method, seeking to pursue your goal in the most effective way.
You are creative, mentally active and industrious.
You feel morose and are prone to lethargy.
What does your drawing say about YOU?
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
plastickitty - something I never leave home without:sigh_gone - my sister:
My Ipod. I listen to this on most of my commutes on my motorbike. The city is so much more pleasant with music than the incessant honking. I also use it at the gym and in the teacher's lounge to drown out all the noise tryin' to prepare for lessons and actually get work done. If I find myself at home, I set it on my bose dock which is just awesome. I'm only using less than 10 percent capacity now, tho. So if anyone would like to send me mp3 dvds or cds of music, PLEASE DO. We'll work out a trade or something!
lotus75 - 3pm shot of today: 
I was correcting tests for the 1 kids class I have on the weekends. I had to give the kids a 2nd chance to take the test because the grades were so bad. Vietnamese parents tend to be real hard on their kids here. One kid got in trouble for getting a 90 percent on a test! So I gave them a new answer sheet, the same test and allowed them to use their books and notes. Thankfully they all scored much higher, which is great considering I have to present their work to their parents this weekend. Anything to save the kids.
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bjserven:Now is your chance to get a sneak peak into the life of yours truly. Ask me to take pictures of any aspect of my life that you're interested in/curious about -- it can be anything from my favorite shirt to my cell phone. Leave your requests as a comment to this entry, I'll take the pictures and post them.
Anyone?
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