Entry tags:

1, picts

VN 2 years, 7 months

looking straight out my bedroom window, the view of district 1 from my apartment


to the right, the view of district 3, phu nhuan and beyond


At the beginning of the year, I was about ready to leave this place, but that was really short-lived. In April I upgraded everything big in my life. I got a better bike, signed a year lease for a better apartment, and a year contract at a better school.

So I ain’t goin’ nowhere.

In fact, I love living here so much that I’ve had nightmares of returning home unexpectedly and each time was overwhelmed with the feeling of disappointment. When I wanted a break from this place, it wasn’t just the actual place, I just wasn’t happy. The more I thought about it, I figured I could be unhappy anywhere else in the world. If I didn’t solve what was going on with me, moving was only going to serve as a distraction.

Now things are great. Sadly, a lot of people have left, but there are more people coming in. However, I find myself reluctant to open up to many of them, especially if I know they’re only here for less than six months. It’s hard not to take it personal. This is my home and when I see people come here for a few months or a few days I just don’t want to bother anymore. I’m tired of erasing my friends from my phonebook. I know not many people have time to live here or visit for a long time, but I have the right not to open myself up to them. At the same time, I wish my family and friends would take advantage of the fact that I’m here so I could show them around. I know that I will eventually leave one day, even if it's in a few years and fortunately, Vietnam is a permanent part of my life. I will always come back.

I’m turning 30 in 3 days and I can’t tell you how depressing that is. In the past month, I’ve started tennis lessons, bought some new clothes, got a Wii and started thinking of new plans. I’m freaking out. I feel so helpless trying to hang on to my youth. Every year I’ve always wanted to celebrate my birthday with a bang, and now, I don’t wanna do anything. What’s to celebrate?! Ugh. As my friend Kyla says, this is the start of many 29th birthdays. :)

Hopefully, this time I won’t break a leg.